Face, Meet Sidewalk

Romance play-by-play, or Other uses for texting

Posted on: July 14, 2011

Wednesday 6:45 pm

Manny! Wazzup?

Just getting ready 2 go out. You?

Nothing. Hey wanna come play some Call of Duty?

Got a date with Gail.

Ah. First one?


How did you guys meet anyway?

Really want to know?


Promise not to tell anyone?


Met her on one of those dating websites.

Um, ok.

Yeah, she is cool.

U in love?

Dunno. Maybe.

Where u taking her?

Kenny Chesney concert.

Nice. For her at least 😛

Hope so. She says she likes country music.

What does she look like?

Blond. Hot.

Big ass?

I don’t know! Dick!

U haven’t even met her yet have U?

No. We talk all the time tho.

On the phone?

Yeah, and Skype.

So you know what she looks like though right?

Yes. Dick. I told u she was hot.

Just askin, man. Chill.

Where u meeting her?

Picking her up at her place around 7. Osborne area.


Ok I gotta go pick her up.

K let me know how the date goes.


7:37 pm


Just got to her place. She’s getting ready.


She’s great.


She’s a little older than I thought.

How old?

She said she was 36.


Nothing. She’s cute.


In a 45-50 year old way.

Dude, naw!

No, really, it’s fine. Her kid’s great, too.

She has a kid?

Yep. I think my sister went to high school with him.

This just gets better and better!

What does she do for a living?

She’s a secretary, but she’s between jobs right now.

Of course she is.

Shut up, numb nuts. She’s actually awesome.

No doubt.

K ttyl. She’s ready.

8:23 pm

Dude, u get my pic?

Yeah. Was hoping for a pic of Gail, not the stupid opening band.

She wouldn’t let me.

So how’s it going?

Excellent. Singin, dancing n drinkin! \m/>_<\m/

Sounds like a party.

1st base already!

You touched her boob?

No, dumbass, that’s 2nd base. I kissed her.

Oh. Less exciting then. How’s the concert?

Good so far. We missed the opener finding parking.

Are you txting with her right there?

No, she’s in the can again. Chick can put the beer away.

So what does she look like?

Cute. Short skirt. Cowboy boots. Tank top.

Sounds like she has a big ass.

Screw you.

Ok so she has a big ass.

She’s sweet.

Sweet? Jesus. She’s my mom’s age.

So? Older women can be hot too.

Well they can be educational.

How many beers have you had to buy her?

What’s that supposed to mean?

How many?

Only a few. She bought some too.

And she seems into you?

Why is that so hard to believe? Shit, she’s back.

9:03 pm

2nd base!

Dude! How?

She leaned against me during a slow song.

Where is she now?

Toking up in the can I think.

WTF man?

I really like this chick, Dave. I think I’m in love.

Well you’re in something, anyway.

Jealous much? ,|,,(-_-),,|,

OK here’s my prediction. She’s either going to hit you up for money or dump your ass for someone else. Tonight.

You are an asshole.

9:52 pm

Hey how long do you think I should wait before I go ask some chick to check on her in the bathroom?

How long has she been gone?

A while.

She leave her purse?


How long’s a while?

Half an hour.

You might want to head home.

No way. She is totally into me. I might even get laid tonight.

Dude, you are not getting laid tonight.

Fuck. Why? What did I do?

Well you did touch her boob.

I really like her! Thought we had a good thing going!

Sux, dude. Come by. We can play some CoD. blow some shit up.

Nah. Maybe I’ll drive by her place. See if she just got lost on the way back to the seat. She was kinda wasted.

Your call.

What if she’s sick or something?

You mean what if she’s OD’d?

Yeah, what if?

You walk fast in the other direction, Manny.

Fine. Fuck you. I’m coming over.

Bring beer, k?

U suck.


1 Response to "Romance play-by-play, or Other uses for texting"

Love it! I absolutely love it, and laughed so hard…..I can totally see this happening. Wait a minute….I DID! LMAO!

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